Pregnancy Loss:
The loss of a pregnancy is devastating; encompassing the
family in grief, sadness and confusion. The mother often
blames herself, experiencing guilt that perhaps she did not
want the baby enough; that her body betrayed her. She may fear
that she will not be able to bear a healthy child. Her
inherent sense of self as a woman can be a stake. She may feel
as though she has failed her loved ones and her relationship
with the father is at risk. The premise that life follows an
orderly sequence is disrupted. Sometimes this creates a crisis
in previously held belief systems; leaving the family without
direction. The intensity of the loss experienced by different
family members can be complicated by the longevity of the
pregnancy, the amount of attachment to the baby, past
histories of miscarriages, a decision to terminate a pregnancy
due to medical reasons, and religious sanctions. The mother
may feel she bears the brunt of the responsibility for the
failed pregnancy. The father may feel he cannot communicate
with the mother. He sees her as inconsolable and that his
grief is not warranted. Whatever are the circumstances, those
involved need outlets by which to grieve and determine how to
move forward. Involvement in therapy incorporates: recognition
of the loss of the child, alleviating feelings of shame and
guilt, reaching out to others, and giving your-self time to
heal and determine whether and when to pursue another
pregnancy.
Motherless Daughters Therapy: The
relationship between a mother and daughter creates a bond
unlike any other between the two. Mothers provide their
daughters with inexplicable nurturing, support and love. They
pass along the legacies from one generation of women to the
next. The mother's role in her daughter's life is complex
and invaluable ranging from advocate, teacher, confidant, and
friend. Daughters in return supply their mothers with ample
joy, satisfaction, opportunities for growth and personal
meaning. The relationship can be fraught with conflict as
well, each providing lessons for the other. Under ideal
circumstances mothers and their daughters have sufficient time
with one another to work through the relationship and become
two separate interconnected adults both arriving at a
compassionate understanding of the other. Often, this type of
resolution does not occur either due to a mother's premature
death, emotional/physical limitations and wounds. In this
instance, the daughter feels as thought she is out on a limb
without an internal or external compass to guide her.
Via either group or
individual therapy the
surviving daughter can develop a framework for defining her
experience that will help her move beyond the loss and at the
same time promote a healthy legacy gleaned from her experience
of her mother and conscious choice. Motherless daughters
therapy entails the following:
-
Grief and
Mourning - the ongoing process
-
Change and Impact on Relationships - too
much to feel
-
Identity
Confusion - who am I? my mother/myself
-
Mothering Yourself - creating a legacy
-
Turning Loss into Gold - creativity,
wisdom, serenity
Motherless Daughters Therapy Groups run
twelve weeks in duration with a half hour free consultation
prior to entering a group. The women benefit from having the
support, understanding, and
encouragement of other women who have also lost their mothers.
Individual therapy is also available in conjunction with group
therapy or independently of group participation.
Sudden/Traumatic
Loss: The unanticipated death of a significant person
due to extenuating medical circumstances, an accident,
violence or suicide leaves the mourner without any preparation
for the loss resulting in
intense feelings of anger, injustice, and denial of the
finality of the loss. Therapy within these circumstances helps
the client arrive at his/her own
understanding and
acceptance
of the loss and events surrounding the death. Associated
guilt, sense of helplessness, and the breakdown of old
cognitive systems regarding the natural progression of life
are common themes the client tackles in therapy. |